Introduction: James Hinkle and Tom Woodroof in their challenging book Among Friends, a book about making our church a warmer place, begin by quoting Dr. Francis Schaeffer. "Unless the Church changes its form and gets back to community and the sharing of lives personally, the Church is done." They comment: "He is exactly right. The greatest danger facing the Church today is neither doctrinal nor moral. It is relational. Not that doctrine is unimportant—we cannot build sound fellowship on unsound teaching. But there is more to Church life than the content of our beliefs. There is also the matter of how we relate to one another. It is possible to possess the gift of knowledge yet lack the gift of love. When that happens, we truly have nothing. This is the crisis facing the Church today, the issue threatening not just our growth but our existence. We’ve lost our sense of family. We avoid sharing lives personally. We no longer see ourselves as a community of believers. The independence and isolation that afflicts our society has now infected the Kingdom of God. As a result, we find ourselves less and less comfortable with the Christ who calls us to love one another as He has loved us."

In many ways I agree completely. I have never seen a time in my ministry where the one consistent felt need of Christians is a sense of closeness with other Christians. A sense that there are a group of individuals I can claim as friends, people I can share deeply with, that’s loyal to me, who loves me unconditionally and draws me closer to God. Over and over I hear that what I need is an open relationship. Reality is just the opposite. Our problem is that we are resistant to deep relationship with believers, yet we are accepting and condone partnerships with unbelievers. It is not at all uncommon for church members to find their deeper relationships—business, marriage, friendships and partnerships with unbelievers or Christians who are not on a spiritual level that influences our walk with Christ but hinders it. All the while the relationships we should have with other Christians are not ever given a second thought. They are people I go to church with—they don’t have to be my friends."

This was the problem at Corinth. Since the opening verse of chapter 1 Paul has been defending himself a s a minister of the gospel and someone they could trust. He is defending his credibility to a people who have accepted him without question. So while he opens his soul to them they have been resisting his expressions of love and concern. Instead, they were accepting business, marriage, doctrinal, ethical partnerships with unbelievers without question. They doubted Paul’s sincerity but gave themselves to unchristian partnerships.

In these verses Paul affirms one central truth: Believers need open relationships with other believers but must avoid partnerships with unbelievers! What I want us to see today is that the people closest to me need to be Christians who are closest to Jesus.

1. First, I want us to understand that as Christians we need deep ,open relationships with other Christians.(II Cor.6:11-13)

   Paul addresses this very need in the lives of the Corinthians in verses 11-13 of II Cor.6. Let’s examine these verses first and then apply them:

   In II Cor.6:11 Paul shares the two qualities of his ministry among the Corinthians. He says that his "mouth has spoken freely" meaning the ability to be completely truthful not holding any thing back. Then he says that his "heart is opened wide" which is a way of saying that he is unreserved in his affection for them. One is a metaphor absolute sincerity and the other for unreserved love.

   In verse 12 Paul points out that on his part there was no restriction of his love or of his acceptance of them. He had good cause to do otherwise but he extends to them the full openness of his heart. He had plenty of room for them but they were squeezing him out of their heart. They had little if any room in their heart for a relationship with Paul. Love made his heart bigger and broader while the suspicion and doubt of the Corinthians made theirs narrow and limited.

   What kind of relationship does Paul want? In verse 13 he tells them that he wants a like response and acceptance. He uses the word "exchange." He doesn’t address them as strangers but "as to children" like a parent to a child, a close personal relationship. He pleads with them – "Love me as I have loved you! Make your heart big enough for me. Make your heart as open to me as mine is open to you."

   Have you ever hugged someone who didn’t hug back? Ever kissed someone who didn’t kiss back? Ever try to talk to a person who just gave you anemic, one-word answers? When that happens it tells you that something is wrong or that the person doesn’t want a close relationship. What is the basis of an open relationship? It’s very simple: Where there is openness in return.

   Do you have a deep open relationship with another Christian? Do you have one person who is a Christian that you have opened your heart to and they have equally opened theirs to yours? Jerry and Mary White define a Christian friend as "a trusted confident/ to whom I am mutually drawn/ as a companion and an ally/, whose love for me is not dependent on my performance/, and whose influence draws me closer to God." Now, how many of those do you have? You are fortunate if you have one. It is however one of the greatest needs as Christians. Why? Because we can’t live as fully healthy Christians without them. If we don’t have them in our Christian circles then we will seek them elsewhere and that is a formula for disaster!

   What these verses say to us is that a deep open relationship with another Christian is to be sincere and unreserved, not restrictive and selective and equal in its depth of commitment. Finding a person like this will take discernment, time, initiative and attention. It calls on us to demonstrate absolute sincerity and to have a big heart! As Christians we need and must cultivate relationships with other Christians that are open, trusting, mutual, committed, unconditional, authentic and spiritual.

2. Christians are to restrict, on the other hand , their partnerships with those who are not Christians.( II Cor.6:14-7:1)

The problem was not that the Corinthians were not accepting and open, only that they were accepting the wrong kind of people. Rather than investing in open relationship with other Christians they were committing themselves to bad partnerships with non-Christians. Paul rebukes them for it. Without apology he toughens his appeal and commands them to stop now their partnerships with unbelievers! (vv. 14—7:1)

He gives them a negative command (14a) to stop now their partnerships with non-Christians. He uses the words "bound together" to describe the Old Testament idea of not yoking an ox and donkey together for plowing a field (Deut. 22:10;Lev. 19:19). The full application was that there was to be a distinguishing attitude in all things for God’s people especially in relationships with an "unbeliever". The Corinthians had already been warned about business relationships and marriage to non-Christians. He had also warned them about eating meat offered to idols and doing this with non-Christians. This refers to those who have chosen not to believe and describes those with whom there is a conflict of interest stemming from conflicting loyalties.

How do you do this if we are to ever win our friends to Christ? Well Paul himself has already told the Corinthians to not be legalistic or elitist (I Cor. 5:10). They were neither to avoid casual friendships with non-Christians. Paul himself said that he became all things to all men (I Cor. 9:20-23) to try to win them to Christ.

This verse isn’t prohibiting friendship evangelism, it’s warning against having the person closest to you, with whom you share the most intimate part of your self, be a person who isn’t close to God. It means whatever would compromise the integrity of the faith. Any action that would cause believers to link up with the world in thought or act must be avoided! Whatever relationships would cause you to forget that we are God’s people, His special people, His distinguished people, are to be restricted. The bottom line is that a believer is not to have the same depth of relationship with a person who is an unbeliever as they do with a believer. Believers are to restrict their relationships with non-Christians.

Why? How can I say this? Well, Paul responds by asking some challenging questions in verses 14b-16a. He uses a series of five questions to answer this. He raises the principle that believers and unbelievers are driven by a different set of values (v.14b,14c). One follows God’s will the other does not. He then points out that believers and unbelievers are under different leadership (v.15). As Christians we place our self under the Lordship of Christ and a non-Christian does not. He further says that believers and unbelievers worship a different God (v.16). A Christian gives his devotion to the God who created this world. A person without Christ places their devotion in the things of the world.

The overwhelming answer to the question as to what a Christian and a non-Christian have in common in the deepest part of their life is "nothing". The implication is that to have a deep bonding relationship with a non-Christian is to force something that is unnatural and ungodly. There are relationships that believers are not to have with unbelievers and to put a Christian and a non-Christian in that type of a relationship creates an environment in which convictions can crumble! We are not to be bound to an unbeliever in a relationship that will lead to a compromise of Christian standards or lead to a break in the consistency of your Christian commitment.

Again you could ask why? Well, the obvious evidence is because of the uniqueness of the relationship that we are to have with God (vv. 16b-18). Paul describes the relationship by saying that we " are the temple of God". It means that we belong exclusively to God and that we are to forsake all relationships that would be incompatible with God’s ownership. To support his position he draws from six different OT scriptures. These scriptures point out that as Christians we live in God’s presence in an intimate relationship with him and under his care. Therefore to give ourselves closely to someone who is not a Christian is to corrupt that personal fellowship with God.

So what do we do? Paul gives some positive advice in II Cor.7:1. His advice? Simply – clean it up! He calls for believers to decisively remove from their life anything immaterial or material that would contaminate the purity of that relationship with God. The reason we do it is because we are totally devoted to living a life that would please God! To be a witness a believer must be seen and be accessible. But you can’t be effective if the world can’t tell the difference. It is therefore impossible for you to have an open relationship with someone whose heart has no room for Christ. You can’t be bound to them because they aren’t free—they are already in bondage—to a lifestyle you can’t condone, to a philosophy you disagree with or to values you stand against!

Conclusion: How can I know? Let me close with some guidelines to steer the course:

First, as a Christian we need open deep relationships with other Christians to get us through life. Unless there is an emotional bond we cannot be free in a relationship. Where there is restraint bonding can’t take place. You can be friends but only on the surface. You can’t form deep relationships without equal vulnerability.

Secondly, as a Christian we are to restrict our partnership with non-Christians to avoid losing our effectiveness as a Christian. Unless there is spiritual freedom, we dare not be bound in a partnership. The basis of all fellowship, relationships and friendships in life is with Jesus Christ. For the Christian there is no other foundation for bonding. Unless there is agreement there, it is an unnatural and unholy bond.

Let me be more specific. Think about the people you are closest to for a moment. Ask yourself, "What is the basis of my relationship?" Is the basis of your relationship is drugs or alcohol? Is the basis of your relationship physical satisfaction or spiritual fulfillment? Is the person closest to you rejecting being close to Jesus? Are the people closest to you more concerned with what others think than what God says?

As a Christian we need deep open relationships with other Christians. What we can’t afford are bad partnerships with those who are not. Remember the people closest to me need to be Christians who are closest to Jesus.

Sunday, October 31, 1999

Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor

First Baptist Church

Jonesboro, Arkansas

btippit@fbcjonesboro.org