"Love Misunderstood"
Genesis 50:1-21
Introduction: Dan Montgomery writes about the time he had the chance to converse with Dr. Carl Rogers, one of the greatest psychologists of the 20th century. Montgomery asked, "As one who has been a counselor for nearly 40 years, what do you think makes people healthy and gives them peace of mind?" Instead of the expected intellectual monologue on the various ramifications of the question, Dr. Rogers gave this simple reply: "Love makes for mental health. Fear erodes it." Montgomery countered, "But haven't you found that lots of people who fall in love still struggle with self-doubt, frustration, and fear?" "I'm not talking about mere human love," said the famous psychologist. "The kind of love I'm referring to is the love that God has for people."(Pursuit, Vol 70, No 2, 1996. Page 10.) The depth of that love is reflected in the first verse of the hymn we sang this morning, "Oh, love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee; I give Thee back the life I owe, that in Thine ocean depths its flow may richer fuller be."
Instead of living in awe of such a love we as humans struggle to believe that it’s true. We are like the couple selling their home in the commercial for the real estate company. A guy comes to look at their house and he tells them he’ll take it but they are selling it to low, offers them cash on the spot for more than they are asking, brings coffee for them and then asks if they want a lemon square! They can’t believe it! To imagine that God’s love is so amazing is equally hard for us to believe. When we fail to understand and doubt his love for us our response wounds the heart of God.
Joseph’s heart was broken because his love for his brothers was misunderstood as well! The incident in Joseph’s life of his love being refused and misunderstood is the perfect lesson of how we are sometimes guilty of confusing and rejecting God’s beautiful love for us.
Because of time restrictions we have made a significant jump in our story. After the reunion of Joseph’s family in Genesis 47 Jacob and his sons and their families settle in Egypt for over 17 years. Genesis 48-49 records the last days and last words of Jacob to his sons. Jacob carefully blesses each son and saves the most meaningful blessing for Joseph (Gen.49:22-26). As he is dying he pleads with his sons to not bury him in Egypt. He orders them to return his body back to Canaan so that he can be buried next to his beloved family. Genesis 49:33 reads, "When Jacob finished charging his sons, he drew his feet into the bed and breathed his last, and was gathered to his people." Joseph’s response was as yours and mine would be, "Then Joseph fell on his father's face, and wept over him and kissed him."(Gen.50:1)
Joseph goes to Pharaoh and asks to honor the request of his father for returning his body to Canaan. The request is granted and after the lengthy funeral they all return to Egypt, "And after he had buried his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his brothers, and all who had gone up with him to bury his father" (Genesis 50:14).
Now with their father buried the brothers begin to worry about their relationship with Joseph. The words in this passage are very powerful and important. The word "saw" in v.15 means when the full impact of Jacob’s death was realized they began to fear what Joseph would do to them. With the reality of their father’s absence and his restraining influence upon Joseph removed, the brothers were suddenly visited by guilt. Their question was, "Now with Jacob gone would Joseph retaliate for what they had done 37 years ago?" They felt this was a real possibility. They were afraid of Joseph’s using this as an occasion for revenge. They thought he was only waiting, biding his time until Jacob died then he would get even. When David died this is exactly what he ordered Solomon to do. All of the revenge of David was released the moment David died against all who had hurt him in his lifetime.
What they did was send a message to Joseph stating that, "Your father charged before he died, saying, 'Thus you shall say to Joseph, "Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong." ' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father."..." (Genesis 50:16-17). The words that the brothers say that Jacob said Joseph has no way of verifying. It is helpful though to understand that this is the first time that they have admitted to Joseph exactly what they had done. The word that they use to refer to their sin was a word for a rebellion of a servant toward a king. It means they recognized that they were guilty of a crime of the magnitude of revolt and rebellion. Listen to their words, "And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father."(Gen. 50:17)
Joseph’s response is once again moving and emotional, "And Joseph wept when they spoke to him." Why did he weep? You see for Joseph the problem had been dealt with years ago. But they still thought he would get even with them. Think of all he had done for them: The best land, the finest livestock, a lifetime of provision and protection. He had risked his reputation for them. Now, this was his thanks! From the time that the brothers and their father came to live in Egypt to Jacob’s death was 17 years. To Joseph it seems that all of his goodness for 17 years had been in vain. They had seemingly learned nothing about him or about God.
It seems that misunderstanding haunted Joseph from the first to last. As a teenager his own family misunderstood him! As a slave his Egyptian master misunderstood him! Now again after 17 years of proving he could be trusted he was doubted once again! But even though doubted and misunderstood, he meets their fear with abundant, overwhelming love and grace (Gen.50:19-21). He wanted them to accept his words as words of tender reassurance that he wanted only their best and meant them no harm. To further assure them he says, "for am I in God’s place?". We read that as if he is saying, "I am not God…" but it really means "God’s perspective" or view. So he is saying that he has seen life from God’s perspective not a human one. That’s why he can then say in v.20, "And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." Only a person who sees life from God’s view could say this.
II. God’s love misunderstood.
This incident of Joseph’s love being distrusted and misunderstood is an excellent illustration of how as Christians we are guilty of not really believing God loves me—unconditionally!
First, just as Joseph promised to provide and care for his family so God has made promises to all who trust Him! Joseph promised the brothers repeatedly that he would provide for them (45:10-11, 21-24; 47:5-6, 11-12, 27) yet when faced with their sin from years past they thought that was meaningless. In a similar way God has made a promise or contract with us about our relationship with him. One such promise is found in Romans 10:9,"That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved."
Our peace and security in life is dependent upon contracts: marriage, mortgage, insurance, car loan, or business. They are our security. Nothing rivals the security of a contract in our laws and courts. Just so God has made a secure, binding contract with us: If we (the party of the first part) give the control of our life to Jesus Christ as Lord, then He (the party of the second part) will give us eternal life. We call it salvation.
This contract is the agreement of two wills. God has willed to save us (II Peter 3:9 "not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance) and all we must do is will to receive it (Romans 10:13: "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.").
The contract though is not validated by my feelings. We recently bought another car. I didn’t cry when I bought our car and signed a contract. I didn’t leap for joy when I agreed to pay a certain amount for insurance. Neither do our emotions make God’s agreement any more valid! A train engine is the only machine that pulls a train. The cars are only along for the ride. Our relationship with God is based on our faith in his promises regardless of my feelings. They are strictly along for the ride.
Also the contract is our surest defense against doubt. If anyone ever doubts the ownership of your home all you have to do is show the contract. When we doubt God’s love for us because of our feelings of guilt or failure it is the same way- all we have to do is go back to the contract! "For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9 ).
This contract is so secure there are "no hooks" in this contract! There are no fine print clauses to trip us up! There are no loopholes that can cause the contract to become invalid! It is clear and simple: "If you confess…." Then God will save you for all time.
But the degree of our enjoyment and happiness in the contract is based on two things: First, the control you give the Father: "If you confess Jesus as Lord." The Lordship of Christ is the same way as saying that you have given absolute leadership of your life to him. That leadership is the key to our happiness. When we lose our joy in the contract it’s usually because somewhere we have violated our responsibility to allow him to control our life. When things go wrong or we feel that God is not carrying his part of the bargain we act like the guy in the commercial who knows everything because he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.
The second reason for our enjoyment and security is the hope we have in the resurrection of Jesus "And believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead…." The reason this is so vital is that there is no Christianity without it! The resurrection is God’s one giant "Yes!" to the world for hope and salvation. To speak of Christ’s resurrection is to be assured of our own!
God promises to rescue for all time those who accept this contract. He will not pull us out of danger, place us in the lifeboat and then threaten us with throwing us back in if we don’t behave ourselves! His promise is based on His love! His love sent Jesus to the cross and out of that crucified love we have an eternal contract with him.
Seventeen years of abundant love and provision had not begun to diminish the doubt of his brothers!
Just so do you and I doubt that God really still loves us when we sin and live in disobedience to Him!
We must understand that our happiness as Christians rests on God’s kind of love for us! What is God’s kind of love? I believe that it is a love that can only be seen through the cross of Jesus Christ. John wrote, "This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins""(I John 4:10). One writer said, "When we see man for what he is, the wrath of God for what it is, and the cross for what it is so then and only then do we see love for what it is."
God’s kind of love is a love for the lovely and the unlovely. Paul said, "And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."(Romans 5:5). His love is not a love based on how loveable we are but on how horribly unlovable we are. We are by nature sinners and we choose to be sinners! We can’t save ourselves. We deserve death and hell. Yet, "For Christ died for sins once for all…" (I Peter 3:18). His love for us sacrificed Jesus on the cross! Only the Cross teaches us what love is! To the degree that I trust that God really loves me will I really be happy in life! God is love and he has made me to operate on the fuel of His fantastic love! But when we doubt that love we don’t operate too effectively. In fact we don’t run at all.
Sometimes we try to ignore God’s love for us! Many of us after we are saved forget that God still loves us. We begin to take pleasure from everything we can do to make the Christian life a hardship and a bore! We take "All who will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution" and forget "Rejoice in the Lord always" or "The joy of the Lord is our strength." Forgetting how much God loves us doesn’t make us martyrs; it makes us miserable! God’s word to us is: "I have loved you with an everlasting love!"
At other times do we not only ignore God’s love for us, we want to do something to earn it, because, we believe, "There ain’t no free lunch!" I got a call recently from a telemarketer congratulating me on winning a selection of some rather nice items. All she needed was just some information to verify that I was the correct winner. "I shared my heart" that I really didn’t need what they were offering. Why? Because it wasn’t free! We carry that same mentality over to the spiritual and try to earn God’s love for us. Anytime we try to earn God’s love we hurt His love! Any gift paid for is no longer a gift—it’s a purchase! It becomes a bargain not a gift! But you can’t buy God’s love. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it." You’ll be a miserable believer as long as you try to bargain with God’s love – it’s free!
We can ignore God’s love for us, try to purchase God’s love for us and, lastly, we can try to limit God’s love for us. We ask the question: "If I commit this sin, will God still love me?" That question tries to put a limit on the love of God. Our only hope for happiness lies in our accepting the limitless love of God. The guilt we feel after we confess our sin becomes a sin because God’s love is limitless. Why? Because I John 1:9 says, " If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." If we feel guilty it means we haven’t trusted that God really forgave my sin. The limitless nature of God’s love is like the Great Salt Lake in Utah. Swim as far as you like—you can’t drown! So it is with God’s love—it knows no limits. He loves us! Your happiness as a believer depends on how unlimited you believe God’s love is.
Susan Thode had taken her little son Steve to the doctor. Sure enough, he DID have an ear infection. Dr. Muir said, "I think we should start him on an antibiotic. Do you know if he's allergic to anything?"
"He's never had to have an antibiotic before, so I'm not aware of anything," Susan replied. "But I'm allergic to sulfa and erythromycin, so we should probably avoid those..." The doctor turned to look at her with a twinkle in his eye and a grin. Susan was puzzled, wondering what she had said that made him look at her that way. After a moment, she realized what she had said and the doctor said gently, "Told you so." She thought back to the first time she had brought Steve in for a check-up. Susan and her husband had adopted him as an infant, and Susan had confessed to Dr. Muir that she worried if she would ever get past thinking that Steve was somebody else's child. Dr. Muir had confidently assured her that acceptance would take some time but eventually she wouldn't even think of Steve as adopted.
This incident proved that he was right. Susan had automatically been thinking that her allergies would have been passed on to Steve. Perhaps, some of us as Christians struggle with the fear that God will not accept us as His children. Yet if the imperfect love of a mortal parent can so completely accept an adopted child, how much more can God's boundless love accept us as His own!
Conclusion: "When their message came to him, Joseph wept." We see him weeping because all that he had done to prove he loved them was rejected.
Think about this: How much more does the heart of God break and grieve over our distrust and doubt of His love for us.
Still after Calvary – we try to ignore His love!
Still after Calvary – we try to buy His love!
Still after Calvary – we try to limit His love!
Sunday, October 17, 1999
Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor
First Baptist Church
Jonesboro, Arkansas
btippit@fbcjonesboro.org