"Building Boundaries in Whateverland"
Judges 21:25, Ruth 2:1-13
Main Idea: The boundaries we build define the freedom we experience.
Introduction: On this Father’s Day we’re going to talk about how men need to build boundaries for themselves and their families in order to experience all the freedom God desires. There is no question we live in what I call "Whateverland." What’s "whateverland"? "Whateverland" is a perfect description of the current attitude in our culture that is so afraid of violating someone’s individuality we accept everything and believe anything. Just as you have a variety of people in all shapes and sizes, so you have spirituality in all shapes and sizes. In the same way you can’t dictate to people that they all be a certain height and weight, neither should you be able to impose some type of formal authority or truth upon someone else. We so worship our individuality that we fear we are somehow doing violence to someone if we say a certain thing just might be absolutely true. The result is what I call "whateverland"—whatever you want to do, say or believe is just as valid as whatever anyone else does, says or believes because no one has the right to make a claim on my soul.
Judges 21:25 describes this perfectly: "In those days Israel had no king, so the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes." The Book of Ruth begins, "In the days when the judges ruled in Israel…" What were those "days" like? The Book of Judges and the Book of Ruth occur in one of the darkest days of the history of Israel. They are the record of a time when people were their own authority and as a result had forgotten what it meant to be faithful to God. The nation of Israel has settled into the Promised Land and has quickly abandoned their faithfulness to God. When enemies would attack them they would cry out for God’s deliverance and God would send a leader to bring order back to their life. They would soon forget God, get into trouble and cry out for God to help them and the cycle would repeat itself over and over. It was during these cycles that some of the most shameful, decadent, violent and abhorrent things in Israel’s history occurred. The writer of Judges attributes the "whateverland" result to the fact that Israel had "no king." They were without anyone to provide spiritual, moral, military, civil or economic order. Without clear, consistent leadership the result was "the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes."
You turn the page and you enter the Book of Ruth.The book begins with, "In the days when the judges rules in Israel…" (Ruth 1:1). Ruth is the story of a non-Israelite widow named Ruth and her widowed mother-in-law named Naomi who came back Israel when their husbands died. They are poor and without family until by God’s providence they encounter a relative by the name of Boaz. Boaz is described as a man of wealth and influence. His name means a person of quickness or strength. The very first words you hear Boaz say are said to those who worked for him. He said, "The Lord be with you," and his workers said, "The Lord bless you." Now here is what caught my attention: How did Boaz maintain his connection to God when everyone else around him had forgotten God? How could this man claim devotion not only for God personally but it obviously had made a difference in those who worked for him? I don’t know all the reasons but I believe it was because Boaz chose to set boundaries in his life when everyone else removed theirs! Boaz built boundaries in a place and in a time without rules, limits, walls or restrictions!
What is a boundary? A boundary is something that fixes a limit. The property line around my house is a boundary that defines my property as different from my neighbors. The property line isn’t a wall or a fence but nevertheless is a boundary. Boundaries can also be things that distinguish us from the actions, habits, behaviors and beliefs of others. Boundaries, limits, rules and restrictions are things that men especially resist but we will never be free to experience all God desires for us without them. Just as the President of the United States has boundaries placed on him for his protection, those boundaries give him the freedom to perform his duties. When we as men build boundaries for ourselves and our families in "whateverland" we are giving ourselves the protection and freedom God desires to give us.
What were the boundaries that Boaz built?
First, Boaz built a boundary of truth to define this faith (Ruth 2:4, 12). As I said, Boaz had obviously determined he was going to be a man of faith in spite of living in a place where it seemed everyone else had given up their faith. The story in Ruth 2 is pretty obvious. Ruth goes to gather grain where the grain is being harvested. Boaz sees her, is attracted to her, provides for her, finds out about her and then blesses her in the Lord. He has no hesitancy in proclaiming his identity with the God of Israel and knows that while Ruth has come to his field it is really God who is the one providing for her. Somehow, some way, Boaz made the choice that the boundary of the truth found in the faith of Israel would be sufficient for him.
Recently I became aware of a book called In the Ruins of the Church: Sustaining Faith in an Age of Diminished Christianity by R. R. Reno. I will admit to you that the title of that book and an audio interview with the author has haunted me. The words "diminished Christianity" have turned over and over in my mind. If something is diminished it means that over time it has become less and less. Reno’s main idea is that Christianity has diminished not because we are being attacked by powerful sinful forces of evil, but that Christianity has diminished because as individual believers we are just too lazy and cowardly to defend our convictions. We know that if we really become vibrant in our faith then we might have to change and who wants to mess with that?
So let me ask you, men, has your Christianity diminished? I will admit to you that there are areas of my life where boundaries were once clear and because of fear, cowardliness and laziness the edges have blurred. You see, I have thought that if I become more accommodating and understanding then that will make the gospel and Christ more acceptable to people. That has not been true. All that has done is make me the water boy for someone else’s disobedience. Does that mean I am not to be a dispenser of grace? No, it means that, like Jesus, I am to be "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14). Where do we find truth? Truth is found in the person of Jesus Christ as revealed in God’s Word, the Bible. I make no apology for my conviction that I unashamedly hold to the absolute authority of the Bible as the Word of God. This book defines my truth and that in turn defines my faith. I know as a believer and as a church that you like for me to say that but my question for men today is this: What good does it do for me to say that the Bible defines both truth and faith if you never open yours? You can’t draw the boundary of truth to define your faith if you don’t know the truth itself! Where are you as a man of faith failing to draw the boundary of truth?
Another place that Boaz built a boundary was that he built a boundary of purity to define his morality (Ruth 2:9,22; 3:10-11). In verse 9 of chapter 2 Boaz tells Ruth that she can stay and gather as much as she wants in this field and he instructed his workers not to harm her. When Ruth goes back to tell Naomi about Boaz, Naomi tells Ruth "This is wonderful!" Naomi exclaimed. "Do as he said. Stay with his workers right through the whole harvest. You will be safe there, unlike in other fields." (Ruth 2:22) It was obviously common for workers to sexually abuse unprotected women in other work environments. But not in Boaz’s field! Boaz set a boundary of behavior for his workers that allowed Ruth to not feel threatened. Then in Ruth 3:10-11 Ruth comes to Boaz at night when he is protecting the grain. Her actions are essentially a marriage proposal. Boaz tells her that he will protect her and do what is essential to secure her as his wife. What he doesn’t tell her is that he wants more than to seal this deal with a kiss! He established a boundary of purity!
For comparison, think about Samson, who is one of the key figures in Judges. Samson is one of the bright spots in Judges and is mentioned in Hebrews 11 as one of the heroes of faith. Yet Samson allowed lust to control his life and that whole hair-cutting thing with Delilah was the result of that. Samson had the same opportunity as Boaz. It was the same "whateverland" culture. Yet Boaz chose to build a boundary of purity that Samson did not. Samson paid a steep price for his failure. Boaz’s obedience would allow him the joy of marriage to Ruth, a woman of faith and devotion.
Men, the hardest place today for you to build a boundary is a boundary of moral purity. In "whateverland" sexual freedom is the most cherished value of our culture and age. Our age uses sex to sell everything from shampoo to music. Our culture has absolutely no sense of shame or decency in regard to sexual purity. We have gone from Ed Sullivan warning The Rolling Stones to change a lyric from "Let’s spend the night together" to "Let’s spend some time together" to Courtney Love exposing herself repeatedly on David Letterman. And that’s not even addressing cable television. The list is endless and the examples exhaustive. Yet the truth still stands that our own Christian belief system has been worn down by our culture’s vigilant, violent defense of sexual freedom. Because they have no limits does not mean we should live without boundaries.
It is at this point that you as a man want to say, "What am I supposed to do? I can’t put my family in a box! I can’t stop the world’s influence on myself or my family!" So you throw up your hands and when you do you throw down the boundary. Let me ask you what other cultural influence do you so readily give in to like this one and say nothing can be done? If you had TV shows, movies, music and books available to you and your family that promoted heroin, would you say, "I give up"? I doubt it. Then why do we say we can’t build a boundary of purity to define our morality? The choices for you and your family may seem to others radical and extreme. Jesus said that maybe what it takes, "So if your eye—even if it is your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matt. 5:29) Men, I challenge all of us to build a boundary of purity that defines your morality.
There’s still one other place that Boaz built a boundary. Boaz built a boundary of protection that defined his compassion (Ruth 2:15-16, 20). Boaz instructs his workers to allow Ruth to glean as much grain as she could carry. He is also in a position to provide for Naomi and Ruth because he is a close relative. The Jewish law provided that if a woman was widowed then her husband’s brother or closest relative could "redeem" her or marry her in order to provide for her and to allow children to be born through her for the sake of the dead relative. This is what Boaz does. Without his protection and willingness to marry her and provide for her mother-in-law Naomi they would live out their days begging for food and shelter. The reason Boaz’s actions are outstanding is because when it was discovered that there was actually a closer relative than Boaz, the man was offered the opportunity and he refused. He said, "Then I can't redeem it," the family redeemer replied, "because this might endanger my own estate. You redeem the land; I cannot do it." (Ruth 4:6) Boaz’s desire to protect Ruth and Naomi defined his compassion.
Men let me ask you: What defines your compassion? Who falls under the area of your protection? We are good at protecting but what area we protecting? Boaz was willing to risk his own resources to protect someone who was defenseless. That willingness to protect the defenseless defined his compassion. Who are the defenseless that need your protection? It starts in your home with your own family. Are you protecting your family from the influences that can destroy their life? Are you allowing things into your life and your home that you know are unnecessary that are destroying the barriers of protection? What about in your work place? Are you seeking to protect the lives of those under your responsibility? Is there a place of influence waiting for your protection?
What about beyond your home and business? In Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol Scrooge is confronted by the ghost of his dead business partner Jacob Marley. Scrooge tells him he always was "a good man of business." Marley’s ghost replies, "Mankind was my business." The Proverbs say "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those who are perishing. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice." (Prov. 31:8-9) There is a generation of boys and young men who are growing up defenseless because they have no one to care for them that are waiting for your protection. Build a boundary of protection that defines your compassion.
Boaz built boundaries of truth to define his faith, purity to define his morality, and protection to define his compassion. What impresses you is that these decisions were not instant, momentary choices. They were the result of his whole life. As a man, we cannot wait until our boundaries are threatened before we try to set them. Steve Arterburn says, "We must plan ahead. We must know the environments that produce risk. We must choose ahead of time the direction we will take…This means laying out, in advance, those actions that will preserve your commitment, help you practice your faith, and allow you to produce the desired results you are seeking as God’s man" (Every Man, God’s Man, p. 196-197).
Arterburn suggests other possible boundaries:
Remember that the boundaries you build as a man don’t restrict your freedom; they allow you the ability to experience freedom. Again quoting from Arterburn: "We will never know the terrors we have escaped when we find the true freedom inside God’s boundaries." (Ibid, p. 199)
Men, today, take a look around you at "whateverland," a land with no rules, no walls, no restrictions and no hope except for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You and I can curse the darkness all we want but unless we have built a boundary between ourselves, our family and our lives and "whateverland," then we have done nothing that matters. Will you decide today to build a boundary of truth to define your faith, a boundary of purity to define your morality and a boundary of protection to define your compassion? Every time you refuse you buy one more ticket to "whateverland." Haven’t you had enough?
Father’s Day, Sunday, June 20, 2004
Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor
First Baptist Church
Jonesboro, Arkansas
(Sources: Every Man, God’s Man by Steve Arterburn, Waterbrook Press, 2003
Postmodern Irony and Petronian Humanism by R. R. Reno, www.manshillaudio.org)