Main Idea: The meaning of a man is shaped by the responsibility he carries.

Having a wife and two grown daughters, I have seen my share of "chick flicks." I have watched on more times than I can count: Notting Hill, Runaway Bride, Maid in Manhattan, Sweet Home Alabama, Legally Blond I and II, Two Weeks Notice, Sense and Sensibility, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, Raising Helen, My Big Fat Greek Wedding and, of course, The Wedding Planner. Through these moments I have shared with my family I have become an expert on Richard Gere’s hair style, John Corbett’s coolness, Josh Lucas’ facial stubble, Hugh Grant’s "right" and have prayed earnestly for the assurance that some day Matthew McConaughey will just get old and lose those washboard abs.

However, I have discovered something else in my experience of chick flick men. What I have discovered is that most of the men in these movies are "safe." By that I mean they really aren’t a threat to anyone and are not taken seriously—they don’t crowd the scene from the female star. They are someone who has been around, supportive but not threatening and not too extreme. If you are looking to the chick flick guy as a role model for males, then the solution is that you need to make sure you are "really nice" plus work out a lot! I wonder, though, as Christian men if we are not called to be something more than "really nice." As John Eldridge says, Christian men have been given the model that the best we can hope for is to be "Really Nice Guys", "We don’t smoke, drink or swear; that’s what makes us men." (Wild at Heart, p. 7)

On this Father’s Day 2005, I believe that God wants more from men than to be just "Really Nice Guys." I believe that we have become confused by the messages around us. Some tell us if we lead, we are being dominating. Other voices tell us that if we are a man then we are to be domineering. Somewhere in all of the messages that surround us there is a model for the meaning of a man. I believe that one of the models for the meaning of a man is found in the man whose name is Joshua. What I want us to see today is that the meaning of a man is determined by the responsibility he carries. In Joshua’s life we find four responsibilities that he carried that defined him as a man. I believe those same responsibilities apply to us today. As a man, I have the responsibility to provide courageous leadership, protect what I love fearlessly, teach by my example and be a faithful friend.

Joshua was a man who carried tremendous responsibility. As we have seen in our study of this man’s life, his unique responsibility was to lead the nation of Israel into the land that God had promised to them. When that is accomplished his task is done and he fades from the scene. Yet it was because of his bearing this responsibility that the nation of Israel was able to enjoy the blessings, freedom and hope that God intended for the people. Joshua overcame personal fear of inadequacy, his own mistakes, the threats of an opposing army and the stubbornness of the people of God to fulfill his responsibility.

We live today in a culture where men too casually walk away from the responsibilities they are to carry. If the responsibilities of life, marriage, kids, job, church or faith become too inconvenient then they abandon those responsibilities. As a Christian man, husband, father, grandfather, son, brother, uncle, friend, you have responsibilities to carry. No one may have ever told you that. When you fail as a man to carry certain responsibilities, you contribute to the failure of your marriage, family, relationships, employment, community, church and, most of all, yourself. You may say, "I have too many responsibilities, I just want to run away!" I’m sure Joshua felt the same way but the meaning of man isn’t defined by the responsibilities you don’t have but by your fulfilling the ones you do have. You may say, "Well, it’s hard to bear all the responsibilities I have." And I say, "Big Deal!" Either you carry the responsibilities that are yours, regardless of the difficulties, or you will fail at what it means to be a man. So, let’s talk about the responsibilities that determine what it means to be a man.

The first responsibility we have that defines our meaning is that we are to provide courageous leadership (Josh. 1:10-11). One of the reasons that I see Joshua as a courageous leader is because his lack of confidence in his leadership was something he had to overcome. In Joshua 1:10-11 we hear Joshua telling the people to get ready to cross the Jordan River to take possession of the land God had given them. Yet what is compelling to me about this is that prior to this bold statement Joshua needed God’s encouragement to step forward into leadership. The Lord told him in verse 9, "I command you—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua was without question a courageous leader but it was something that found its source in God’s strength first. Yet when the time came for the people to follow they responded with their willingness to follow but just asked of Joshua, "So be strong and courageous."

On Christmas night of 1776 General George Washington was poised to lead his force of 2400 men across the Delaware River to attack the British mercenaries of nearly 3,000 at Trenton, New Jersey. This night was a true turning point in the war. Washington’s forces had been defeated on numerous occasions and if they failed here, all hopes of freedom for the United States were gone. The weather was horrible—rain, sleet, snow and the river clogged with ice. During the day Washington was depressed and distressed at the state of the army. Benjamin Rush spoke with Washington throughout the day and watched as Washington wrote something over and over on small slips of paper. One of those pieces of paper fell to the floor and Rush saw what was written: "Victory or Death." It was to be the password for the night’s battle. (David McCullough, "1776," p. 273)

The Continental Army did cross the Delaware and defeated the forces at Trenton. The only American losses were two who had frozen to death during the night but the enemy losses were decisive. Yet the battle gave the Americans the courage to continue the fight for freedom. John Hancock would say, "The victory at Trenton was all the more ‘extraordinary’ given that it had been achieved by men broken by fatigue and ill fortune." Yet it was Washington’s leadership that had inspired them. (Ibid, p. 284)

As a man providing courageous leadership may be found in the lonely places of your soul. For it is there like Joshua and George Washington that you find the courage to make the choices and decisions that have to be made to provide the leadership that is needed. As a man you need to provide courageous leadership spiritually, morally, and ethically. That leadership is to be seen in your own life first, your family, your church, your community and your country. That doesn’t mean you have all the answers but it does mean you are bold enough to say either "victory or death" – I’m going to provide courageous leadership or die trying because the alternatives are unthinkable! The meaning of a man is found in his providing courageous leadership.

The second responsibility that defines our meaning as a man is that we are to protect what we love fearlessly. (Josh. 6:12, 8:5, 10:7). There is no question that Joshua was a warrior. I do not know where he got his training because Joshua was born a slave in Egypt. When he first comes on the scene in Exodus 17 he has a sword in his hand. Saying Joshua was a warrior does not define him as a brute or a barbarian. Joshua was a man who sought to protect what he loved fearlessly. He led the people against Jericho (6:12), against Ai (8:5) and against the Gideonites (10:7). In each instance Joshua points his troops to the battle and then leads them into battle. To fail to protect fearlessly the call of God to conquer the Promised Land was to fail in his role as a leader of God’s people.

I realize that military terms such as "warrior" can be misused and misjudged. Yet the New Testament often portrays our Christian life as a battle and those who are believers, both men and women, as "warriors" and "soldiers." Even Jesus is described in the Revelation as a warrior in triumph. While our sensibilities might be challenged by the metaphor, the application is, nevertheless, the same—a responsibility of a man is to protect what he loves fearlessly!

If a man’s responsibility is to protect what he loves fearlessly and he chooses not to be responsible, what happens? I mean if I choose to not care what happens to my own life, my family, my church, community or country—so what? Here’s the thing for you men who shrink at the idea of being a defender of what you love: If you don’t defend, don’t think your enemies won’t attack! Do you think if you choose to not defend what you love fearlessly that the world, your sinful nature or Satan are going to stop attacking? If the war on terror has taught us anything, it has taught us that our enemies are constantly plotting to attack regardless of our defense.

While many cities and villages along the Indian Ocean suffered catastrophic losses from the December 2004 tsunami, the port city of Pondicherry, India, and its 300,000 inhabitants were spared. Just beyond city limits, 600 people were killed by the devastating tidal wave, but Pondicherry withstood the tsunami. Why where they protected? The answer began 250 years ago when France colonized the city. The French built a massive stone seawall. Year after year, the French continued to strengthen the wall, piling huge boulders along its 1.25-mile length. The French stopped building Pondicherry’s seawall in 1957, but their work prepared them for a disaster that would occur five decades into the future. (Chris Tomlinson, Associated Press, 1-4-05).

As a Christian man you have the responsibility to build the walls of protection around what you love the most. What you do today through your decisions, prayers, example and courage is saying, "I don’t know when the floods are going to come but what I love is going to have my protection. I’m going by God’s grace to lay down my life to protect what I love because my enemy will not stop!" What do you love, men? Your wife? Your children? Your church? Your way of life? The attacks will be relentless but your protection must be fearless!

There’s a third responsibility we have as a man and that is we are responsible to teach by our example (Josh. 8:30-35). Another task of this great man was to instruct those going into the Promised Land. In Joshua 8: 30-35 he is instructing them orally by reading to them from the books of the Law. Notice that in verses 34-35 there was nothing that he left out and no one was left out of the instruction. Over and over you find Joshua right up to the very end of his life teaching, not just in word but also by his way of life. He was someone who knew God himself and was capable of teaching others. Men, our role is to follow that of Joshua and others and teach by our word and our life what it is to be a Christian, to be a man of God. We are to be persons who are able to teach life!

I am thankful to God that I had a father who taught me by his words and by his life. My father was not a perfect father. My father was not successful in the eyes of the world. Yet my father invested in me and my brother Brian critical values that have anchored us in our lives. There were times that Brian and I both made choices that disappointed our father. There were times that I am certain that my father wondered if the anchor would hold. Yet there are things that we do today that are because that is what our father taught us: We never hang up the phone without saying to each other, "I love you," because our Dad told us he loved us. We have both led our families to be faithful to Christ and his church because our Dad was faithful to Christ and his church. We both give our best to the places that employ us because our Dad gave his best. We both love our wives and children unconditionally because our father loved our mother and us unconditionally. We both have certain sayings ingrained in our vocabulary because Dad taught us those things. While we both have lived longer away and now without our father than with him, still it was the example our father set for us in his life and with his words that shaped who we are today.

Robert E. Lee, while home on leave in Virginia during January 1840, took his eight-year-old son, Custis, out for a walk in the snow. They were together for a while when Lee noticed Custis had dropped behind and was imitating his every move walking in the tracks his father left in the snow. Years later Lee told a friend, "When I saw this, I said to myself, ‘It behooves me to walk very straight when this fellow is already following in my tracks.’" Wherever you put your foot, someone is following in your tracks. The question is: Where are they headed? A man’s meaning is found by bearing the responsibility to teach by his example.

There is one more responsibility we have and that is that a man has the responsibility to be a faithful friend. (Joshua 14:6-13) I have mentioned earlier that the only two who survived the forty years in the wilderness were Joshua and Caleb. Over and over when you see the name of one you see the name of the other. At last Caleb is ready to have his own property so he goes to Joshua and makes his request. Joshua does what any friend would do and gives him what he needed. Two men whose souls had been forged together for well over forty years were now separating, going their own ways. Joshua was responsible for keeping the promises made to Caleb. When it was time to fulfill them, that’s exactly what he did! He was a man with a loving heart, a compassionate and caring heart.

You see the friend in a man is a commitment-maker and a keeper of promises. A man is someone who commits himself to someone else—beyond his family. During the time of Michie Barber’s battle with cancer and ultimately his death, it was his friends that lifted him up and helped carry him through. I remember the touching and hilarious stories that his friend Bob Gibson told. As I listened I thought: Am I a friend like that? Oh, I believe that I have sought to be a faithful friend and that my friends have been faithful. I just believe that I can do more to fulfill my responsibility to be a faithful friend.

Stu Webber says, "Friends can save your life…Just when you need a little reserve, a little iron in your spine, a little steel in your soul, a little extra oomph to clear the bar, strong friends can make the difference. They can empower you to keep your promises. In so doing, they not only save your life, your career, and your marriage, but even whole families. Even generations." (Go the Distance, p. 84)

To men, this is so very hard. Yet to be a man we must be willing to share our souls with one other significant person. We ache to have someone else to lockstep with. That is never weakness! It is strength. To be a man means sharing your soul in friendship with another man. It is a responsibility that a man is charged to carry.

Carrying a responsibility as a man isn’t meant to be easy. The responsibilities we choose to carry though have a way of raising up those we care about and love the most. When I lead I am raising up others. When I protect fearlessly I am raising up others. When I teach by my life I am raising up others and when I am a friend I am raising up others. The writer of Ecclesiastes says, "Two are better than one…. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up" (Eccl. 4:9-10).

I know what I have said to you today is not everything you need to know about the things that are your responsibility as a man. You are responsible to provide courageous leadership, protect what you love fearlessly, teach by your example and to be a faithful friend. Remember the meaning of man is determined by the responsibility you carry – "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).

Sunday, June 19, 2005 a.m.

Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor

First Baptist Church

Jonesboro, Arkansas

btippit@fbcjonesboro.org