Introduction: There’s an e-mail floating around entitled "BECAUSE I AM MAN" that describes things men are known for because, well, they are men. They are things a man might use to defend their actions to their wife. Some of them are:

• Because I am a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

• Because I am a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

• Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

• Because I am a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how in the world could he know where we're going?

• Because I am a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

• Because I am a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.

Those rather uncomfortable but true statements describe things that men are notoriously known for. On this Fathers Day I want to focus on things for which I believe men should be known. Who are the models of manhood that we see today? Professional wrestling would point to Stone Cold Steve Austin. The most popular music styles today Hip Hop and Rap give us Sean Puffy Combs, a.k.a. "P’Diddy" and Eminem. Hollywood offers Tom Cruise. Basketball gives us Allen Iverson. Believe me there is little if anything that a man today could find in those individuals worth modeling.

Rather than looking at a model from the modern media or sports world I want us to ask, "Who are the kind of men God is seeking?" 2 Chronicles 16:9 tells us, " For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." Those are the kind of people and especially the kind of men God is always searching to find. Those whose hearts are fully his. There are two men are recorded in the New Testament who exemplify just such a heart. They are examples of manhood and spiritual depth. Their names are Timothy and Epaphroditus and their demonstration of what a man modeled after God ‘s desires should be is found in our text from Paul’s letter to the Philippians. Paul wrote this letter while he was in prison in Rome. Timothy was a co-worker of Paul’s that had been shown to be a leader in the ministry. Epaphroditus was a member of the church at Philippi and had brought an offering to Paul from the church. This morning I want men to decide that we will be the kind of men that God is seeking. What does that look like? I want us to see that because I am a man God is seeking I will determine to hold nothing back from Christ’s absolute authority in my life.

How do you live this out? What does it look like? It looks like a man who says:

Paul's glowing testimony about Timothy was not to introduce Timothy for he was already well known at Philippi. It served, however, to indicate that he had the fullest confidence in Timothy. Why? Because Timothy had become known for his compassionate character. Paul said there was "No one else like him" or literally "no one of equal soul" when it came to "a genuine interest in your welfare." This was in contrast to others that Paul knew who cared more for their own priorities instead of those that had their focus in Christ. No one that Paul might conceivably have sent had the same interest in the Philippians, as did Timothy.

Bill Hybels tells how the need to put people before his agenda became real for him. He writes, "Recently, I was half-walking, half-running from my office to the church's farthest seminar room to meet with some leaders. I had my schedule all planned out, including how long it was going to take me to walk, and how fast I was going to have to walk to make it on time.

When I got partway there, I saw someone from our building services staff washing a window with the enthusiasm of a man who's just been given a life sentence. I remember thinking, If this is a contest between the rag and the window, the window is winning. I was planning to walk right by, but I could sense God squeezing my hand and whispering, Stop. Just ask him how he's doing. It looks like he's hurting.

So I stopped and I said, "Are you okay?" He looked at me and his eyes said, "I'm not, but I know you're always busy. And if I start telling you what's breaking my heart and you say, 'Gotta go, bye'—it's going to be too hurtful for me."

God squeezed my hand—a little harder this time—and said, "Let the other meeting wait," so I spoke to the man once again and added, "I'm not in a hurry. What's up?" And what came out was a kind of hurt that only a couple of us on staff could identify with. So I spent the next twenty minutes encouraging him and praying for him.

Later on, as I reflected on that moment with God and that man by the window, I realized that particular staff member has probably heard hundreds of my sermons. Yet years later, when he looks back and reflects on the impact that my life had on his, he probably won't remember many of them. But he will probably remember the day I stopped to talk when the window was winning. (Bill Hybels, The God You're Looking For, Thomas Nelson, 1997)

I admit that for men to put people before the bottom line is never easy. As well it is unusual to call for compassion from men. It is seen it as weak or men fear letting weakness show. When Paul looked for a man to fill a need he looked for someone who had the capacity to genuinely care about those he would serve. Whose welfare is at the center of your life? The bottom line isn’t always the bottom line! Because I am a man God is seeking I will compassionately put people before profit

Paul describes Timothy as someone who had proven worth. It was the same word that was used when metals were tested. There were three times that they had seen Timothy in action. He came to Philippi with Paul in Acts 16 and was virtually a new disciple. What is significant is that Paul was jailed and beaten on this occasion but Timothy did not abandon Paul. In Acts 19:22, several years later, Timothy was valuable enough to be sent on his own to serve the needs of the church. Then later Acts 20:3-4 records Paul and Timothy merely passing through Philippi. Yet even these brief encounters were enough for them to see immediately the kind of man Timothy was.

How consistent is character at the forefront of your decisions? Timothy’s character had been shown to be trustworthy. The resistance to conformity is more than the pressures of our culture. It is also the pressures from within to conform to the desires of our body and mind. The question is what has your character proven about you?

It is a challenge today for anyone to put character before conformity. This is particularly true as men relate to the issues of marriage and family. With the so-called "decline" of the traditional nuclear family comes the shocking--or maybe not so shocking--numbers to confirm this downward spiral. A recent Gallup poll confirmed speculations about waning Christian morals in the 21st century. Sex before marriage used to be taboo, but the May survey revealed that 60 percent of Americans believe premarital sex is "morally okay." In 1969 only 21 percent took this stand. In addition to supporting sex before marriage, most Americans (52 percent) said it is "morally acceptable" for an unmarried man and woman to live together. If, in fact, people do decide to marry and run into hard times there appears to be little social pressure to force them to stay together, according to the poll. Fifty-nine percent said divorce is morally acceptable, while 12 percent said it depends on the situation.

A past president of IBM said, "If one stands up and is counted, from time to time one may get knocked down. But remember this: a man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. (Thomas J. Watson, Jr., Chairman of Board, IBM, Leadership, Vol. 1, no. 1.) Because I am a man God is seeking I will consistently put character before conformity

The second of Paul's messengers to Philippi, and the one whose forthcoming trip was the immediate occasion for this Epistle was Epaphroditus. He is mentioned in the NT only in Philippians (2:25; 4:18). Epaphroditus had brought the Philippians' gift to Paul. He is identified by a series of glowing terms given in an ascending scale. Paul describes him as "my brother", a sharer of a common spiritual life with Paul and so his brother in Christ. He was also a "fellow worker", a participant with Paul in the common labors of the gospel. Paul said he was "my ... fellow soldier", a sharer of the common dangers involved in standing firm for Christ and in proclaiming the gospel.

How do men compete? We compete in business, recreation, relationships, family and many, many more. Choosing to be a man God is seeking compels us to deny our self-the envy, jealousy, pride and join with others and say, " We share a common Christ. We share a common cause. We share the same conviction that times are too critical to worry about our "stats".

All season long Los Angeles Laker 22-year-old superstar Kobe Bryant had infuriated his teammates with his selfish play and aggravated Shaquille O’Neal, the league’s reigning MVP, by challenging his leadership. Coach Phil Jackson had warned Kobe that the spat with Shaq could even jeopardize his Laker career. Bryant tried to distract himself by thinking about his impending marriage. And it suddenly dawned on him how "for better or worse" just might apply to his team as well. "He was starting a whole new life with a lot of new rules," says a teammate in whom Kobe confided. "If he was going to have to share toothpaste and the remote with his wife, why not the ball with his team too?"

When Kobe returned to action in April, he executed a reversal as stunning as any of his dunks. He ignored open shots to pass to teammates, cut down on his mad, solo dashes to the hoop and gave the supersensitive O’Neal the respect the big man deserved. With Kobe back as the faithful sidekick, the Lakers went on a tear. "When you sit on the bench, you see the game in different ways," explains Bryant. "You make the adjustments you have to make to win. It should be no surprise that, despite the rocky stuff, we got it together." Kobe has learned this year’s lesson, and it may, finally, stick. "We’re playing great basketball now because we’re playing as a team," he says. "I’m very clear on that." Let’s be very clear that because I am a man God is seeking I will put cooperation before competition.

The next terms tell of Epaphroditus relation to the Philippians. He had acted as their "messenger", the duly appointed and commissioned delegate to convey the Philippians' gift to Paul. In this capacity Epaphroditus had served as their "minister", functioning officially on their behalf in performing a sacred service to Paul. The word minister describes someone who serves others like Jesus would. The attitude that Epaphroditus demonstrated was one where he continually was in spiritual and emotional distress because of his concern for the Philippians. He longed for them in the same way a baby wants milk. He also ached for them because he didn’t want them to worry about them. Yet he would not consider abandoning Paul.

There is no place clearer where men need to put commitment before their own comfort than in their marriage and family. This church is a place where those who have been failed or have themselves failed in that commitment are welcomed and affirmed. Yet men who would be a man God is seeking will put their commitment to their marriage and family before their personal comfort. Is living with someone easy? No, that’s why you take vows. Is raising children easy? No, that’s why you are called parents and fathers. When I lay my hands on the hands of a couple to bless their marriage I trust that the man especially is going to be a man of his word. The implication is that may God have mercy on your soul if not!

The 1998 movie, Hope Floats, is a tale about a woman struggling to recover from her husband's infidelity. It shows how she and her child cope with the problems caused by the break up of their family and starting over.

The mother, Birdie Pruitt (played by Sandra Bullock), thinks she's going to receive a makeover on a national TV talkshow, only to discover the real purpose of the program is to uncover her husband's affair with her best friend. Horrified, Birdie returns to her small-town Texas home and tries to pull life back together for herself and her daughter. While there, she faces considerable obstacles and the potential rebirth of an old high school romance.

Towards the end of the movie, Birdie and her husband are arguing loudly in front of their daughter about the pain, deceit, and anger his adultery has caused. She tells him, "I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you!"

But Bill won't hear it. He says he finally found happiness for himself, and he's going to take it.

Finally, Birdie tells him to leave since she's got the best part of him anyway, namely, their daughter Bernice. Bill turns to go, and is pursued by Bernice down the stairs and out to the car. She calls out, "I'm coming with you, Daddy!" but her dad keeps walking to the car. The girl, terrified of losing her father, tries to get in the car with him, begging, "Daddy, I need you!"—But he refuses her.

He says sternly, "I promise to come back for you, but I am starting a new life with Connie now."

As she screams and sobs, his raised voice has an empty ring to it as he keeps repeating, "I promise…I promise…I promise." With that he drives off, leaving Bernice completely devastated, wailing until her mom comes and picks her up. That heart-rending scene need not be repeated if we are men that God is seeking. Because I am a man God is seeking I will put commitment before comfort

The reason why Epaphroditus deserved honor was for two reasons: First, he had been engaged in the work of Christ and had actually risked his life to accomplish it. The word means he literally gambled his life or exposed himself to danger. This term was used for Christians who risked their lives for the dying and the dead. Second, he had been trying by his labors to make up for the Philippians' absence from Paul, and so they owed him their gratitude. Epaphroditus's close call with death was because of his sickness (v. 27), and was not the result of persecution or a trial. Also, his sickness was directly due to his Christian labors on behalf of Paul. Perhaps it was the result of the difficult travel and was compounded by his efforts to continue ministering to Paul in spite of being sick. It was not merely an unavoidable circumstance but was a risking of his life in the interests of his ministry.

When I think of someone who has put service before security I can’t help but see the example of Dickey and Cathy Nutt. Dickey and Cathy’s commitment to the Parker community Center in the north part of our city is unprecedented. They have pledged over $43,000 to complete this facility. I mean I can recall it being published that not too long ago this guy’s salary started with a two. But now rather than seeing how much more he can keep for himself he is giving it away! He is doing it because he has chosen to make a difference by putting service before security. What are you risking to make a difference? Will your service be better known than your personal worth? Because I am a man God is seeking I will courageously put service before security

Conclusion: While in New Orleans this past week I toured the D-Day Museum. It has been said recently that it is difficult to overstate the significance of the Allied invasion of Normandy. As I stood in that place I watched men now in their 70’s and 80’s move from display case to display case. I saw the detail of the obstacles placed in the water to repel an amphibious landing, the guns, the preparation, and yet in 24 hours it was over. The resolve of those was overwhelming and humbling. They were men who held nothing back from being absolutely surrendered to the cause. It troubles me to ask if we have the same kind of men today?

There is a crying need for men in this generation to be the kind of men God is seeking. "For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His" (2 Chron. 16:9). Is my heart completely his? If so then I have determined to hold nothing back from Christ’s absolute authority in my life. I will put people before profit, character before conformity, cooperation before competition, commitment before comfort, service before security. Do it because your are a man God is seeking!

Sunday, June 17, 2001

Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor

First Baptist Church

Jonesboro, Arkansas

btippit@fbcjonesboro.org