Main Idea: The hurt of unanswered prayer is our opportunity to experience unimaginable grace.

Introduction: Oklahoma theologian Garth Brooks writes in a song:

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers,

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."(Copyright © 1989)

While those words refer to love lost and true love found, it raises the question of how we deal with the hurt of unanswered prayer. Do we see it was God’s greatest gift or God’s greatest disappointment to us? It’s one thing to recognize how God may not have answered your prayer as a gift in some things; it is entirely another matter in the critical crisis of our lives. This past Sunday, for example, I sat with a family while the life of a son, son-in-law, brother and friend literally hung by a razor thin wire. I watched them pray for life to be spared. The answer, however, was not what was desired. The hurt was deep, harsh and devastating. The response was no longer, "Please, God!" but, "God, why?" The hurt of unanswered prayer seems like God’s great joke, not His great gift.

Where have you known the hurt of unanswered prayer? Your hurt may not have been as sharp as I just mentioned but we’ve all struggled with the hurt of unanswered prayer—even one of the greatest of the leaders of the early church, Paul.

The story of Paul’s hurt of unanswered prayer is found in II Corinthians 12:1-10. It’s one of those places in Paul’s life where he lets the reader look deeply into his personal life. The circumstances surrounding the verses are the result of criticism addressed to Paul by the Corinthians concerning the validity of Paul’s ministry. In a very unusual way Paul feels the need to share with them that his spirituality is just as deep as any other minister who has come their way. To prove this he tells them about an "out of body" experience he had about fourteen years prior to this writing. Very likely this came right after his conversion and when he was alone in the Arabian desert for about three years.

All we know is that in some deeply moving spiritual experience God allowed Paul to see and hear things that were prohibited to others. His point was that while others may have seen this as a reason to inflate their spiritual standing he kept quiet. He says as well that God aided him in keeping quiet by giving him "a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me – to keep me from exalting myself" (II Cor. 12:7)

There is no end to speculation as to what the "thorn in the flesh" might have been. Everything from spiritual and physical temptations, persecutions, disease, sickness or slurred speech have been suggested. The words mean "a sharp stake." It was the kind of thorn that would cause strong, intense physical pain. Whatever it actually was we don’t know and because we don’t know the specifics, we can more clearly identify with Paul.

Now the "thorn in the flesh" was something Paul didn’t accept as part of God’s plan so he asked God three times to take it away from him completely. (Literal translation: "that he stand off from me for good.) Yet each time God’s answer was "No!" In fact the original language indicates that II Corinthians 12:9 was not only God’s answer, but it was his final answer! The Lord told him that the answer to his prayer was "No!" but that his gift to Paul instead was unimaginable grace: "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" (II Cor. 12:9). The NLT says, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness" (II Cor. 12:9).

What was Paul’s response? He understood that when God says "no" to relieving the pain he provides grace to submit to the process. So he says, " Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."(2 Cor. 12:10) The hurt of unanswered prayer became his opportunity to experience unimaginable grace.

All this raises the question, though, as to why God allows us to experience the hurt of unanswered prayer. One thing this reminds us is that God does answer every prayer. In fact he may answer three ways: "Yes!" "No!" or "Not yet!" "Yes" is pretty easy to accept. However, it is "no" or "not yet" where we risk feeling the hurt of unanswered prayer.

Paul asked God three times to remove the pain in his life. God said absolutely and completely, "No!" There are several instances in the Gospels where the disciples sought Jesus to respond positively to their requests but his answer was, "No!" Why does God say "NO"? Well, one reason is because God loves us too much to give what would be an inappropriate request. In the same way that a parent chooses not to respond to a child’s request that is inappropriate so God as our perfect parent does the same.

What are some inappropriate requests?? Things like, "Lord, change them…" This is really saying, "I’m fine but not them." God may want to change them but he may want to do something for you by saying "No!" How about, "Please help me be successful." This may mean little more than, "Please make someone else fail so I can look good." I think you get the picture. Our request may be inappropriate because it masks a motive that is wrong, self-absorbed on shortsighted.

It may help us to think about our requests by filtering them through these criteria: If God said "yes!" to my request – would it bring honor to him or to me?

-- would it expand his influence or mine?

-- would it help someone else or just me?

-- will I mature spiritually or just my self-esteem?

When we look at our requests through this kind of filter, it has a way of purifying our prayer. I am told that when you have a swimming pool that is unused for a long period of time the water can become a virtual hazardous waste site. Yet rather than drain the water and put clean water in, what is done is to put chemicals in the water and allow the chemicals and the filter to purify the water so that it is safe. As we come to God in prayer and his answer to our repeated request is, "No," then what we are allowing God to do is to filter out what is inappropriate. What’s left is what is safe.

This week I wrote my newsletter article about an obscure passage of scripture that I found fascinating. The passage was Leviticus 19:23-25. It related to rules that God dictated to the Jews when they entered the Promised Land. This particular rule related to the planting of fruit trees. The command was very clear in that when a farmer planted a fruit tree the fruit from that tree was not to be harvested for three years. Then in the fourth year all of the tree’s fruit was to be dedicated to God. Then in the fifth year the farmer was able to eat and enjoy the fruit of the tree. The reason for these instructions was, "In this way, its yield will be increased. I the Lord, am your God" (Lev. 19:25).

Can you imagine the struggle the farmer would have had putting in four years of labor on the fruit tree and not getting anything out of it? I mean we won’t even watch a TV show seconds before we change a channel. We want results immediately on everything, so to be required to prune fertilize, and protect the tree for four years before you enjoy the result is astounding! Think about this – what if the fourth year was a great year but bugs get into the crop of the fifth year? How would you feel? Yet remember the purpose—God was insuring long-term benefits, not short term results. What’s the point? The point is that God’s delays are not necessarily his denial.

Why does he delay? What might the farmer have understood when he obeyed God until the fifth year? He may have learned the meaning of faith, obedience and perseverance. What might be the reason for God’s choosing to delay answering our prayer as we would like? First, he may delay to give our faith time to grow deeper. Waiting for God’s timing has a remarkable way of deepening our trust. Second, he may delay to define our request. God will over time chip away at what would not be best until we get down, as Don Henley says, "to the heart of the matter." Thirdly, God may delay to develop our character. Just as the fruit was not to be eaten until the fifth year, so God delays responding to allow our character to "ripen" and mature. God’s delay may not mean his denial.

Look once more at verses 9 and 10 of II Corinthians 12. Paul doesn’t receive the relief he wanted and, instead, is told two things: First, God’s grace is all you will ever need to endure and, next, God’s power reaches its fullest potential in your absolute weakness! Those words then changed how Paul saw everything else. So much so that he could say that he would rather live with the hurt of the unanswered prayer than miss the benefit of indwelling power of Christ in him. He then adds to that statement by saying that God’s reason for saying no "only gives me the opportunity to experience more of Christ’s power." Paul learned that unimaginable grace is greater, infinitely greater, than the hurt of unanswered prayer.

One of the greatest men I ever knew was Dr. T. B. Maston, an Ethics professor at Southwestern Seminary. Dr. Maston was a very old man when I was a student at Southwestern, having taught there most of the 20^th century. Dr. Maston was a man who walked closer to Jesus than anyone I could imagine. What amazed me was that Dr. and Mrs. Maston had an adult child, a son, who lived at home and had been an invalid since birth. The problems for the son were caused by the boy being mishandled at delivery due to a physician’s drunken condition. It was known that for his son’s almost sixty years Dr. and Mrs. Maston were not up less than six times a night to care for their son. Yet Dr. Maston was the first to say that the wisdom given to him by God was directly related to the power and presence of God that had been perfected in weakness. Dr. Maston experienced the hurt of unanswered prayer but exchanged it for the gift of unimaginable grace.

What is it you have asked God to do? God may have denied the request or for his own reasons he is delaying the answer. Either way, you have to go on and to go on you need grace – unimaginable grace. All you can do is trust the words, "Whate’er my God ordains is right. Here shall my stand be taken. Through sorrow, need or death be mine, yet I am not forsaken. My God is true, each morn anew, sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, and pain and sorrow shall depart." (Samuel Rodquist, Whate’er My God Ordains Is Right)

Conclusion: So what is the answer you are experiencing? Is the response from God "No!"? Is it "Not Yet!"? Where is the hurt of your unanswered prayer? Are you willing to exchange the hurt for God’s unimaginable grace? When you make that exchange then you can say, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers…Some of God’s greatest gifts are all too often unanswered prayers." We may have to wait till the "fifth year," for then we get what will last. Answers are often temporary but grace, God’s all-sufficient, unimaginable grace, will never end!

Sunday, March 4, 2001

Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor

First Baptist Church

Jonesboro, Arkansas

btippit@fbcjonesboro.org